THE ADVENT CALENDAR (2021)

 

(aka LE CALENDRIER. Shudder Original film. Director/screenwriter: Patrick Ridremont.)

 

Review

On December 3, 2020, paraplegic ex-dancer Eva Roussel (Eugénie Derouand) gets a surprise birthday visit from her close friend, Sophie (Honorine Magnier), who flew in from Germany to give her an old, pagan-Christian ornate, wooden German advent calendar she purchased from a “Munich Xmas market”. The back of the calendar reads: “Dump it and I’ll kill you.”

 

When Eva notes that it’s a “grim” statement, Sophie, shrugging, replies, “Germans are grim.” Eva opens the first date-door and eats the candy despite this and its three rules:

“Rule number 1. The calendar contains candy. If you eat one, eat them all. Or I’ll kill you.

“Rule number 2. Respect all rules until you open the last door. Or I’ll kill you.

“Rule number 3. Dump it and I’ll kill you.”

Crazy violent things happen at a rapid pace after she eats the first four candies (and continues doing so). Her father (played by an excellent Jean-François Garreud), who has Alzheimer’s and hasn’t spoken to her in some time, calls her and wishes her a happy birthday. An investor creep (Boris, played by Cyril Garnier) who aggressively hits on her has a car accident, not entirely unlike the car accident that made her a paraplegic—except he's dead in a horrible way. Other odd events, some good, follow. Many of these events are terrifying and dangerous for her and those around her, including her nurse boyfriend, William (Clément Olivieri).

This fast-paced, supernatural horror flick is an entertaining and an all-around sturdy movie, with its good acting, a strong script and ending, and an offbeat storyline. Animal lovers may cringe at one of its parts, although there’s no actual onscreen violence (or harm to the animal)—it’s all implied. This is a highly recommended French work, different than the usual Xmas terror fare.

THE INFERNAL CAULDRON (1903)

 

(original French title: LE CHAUDON INFERNAL; American title: THE INFERNAL CALDRON AND THE PHANTASMAL VAPORS; U.K. title: THE INFERNAL CAULDRON. Director/screenwriter/producer/star: Georges Méliès)

 

Review

In this two-minute, G-rated silent short, two excitable, almost cartoonish devils stuff three humans into the titular flaming cauldron so that they can summon their sacrifices’ ghostly essences. While there’s not much storyline, the visual aspects, especially for a brief 1903 work, are amazing— Méliès, INFERNAL’s only credited player, appears as one of the bluish-green, shirtless devils (Belphegor, according to Méliès’s Star Film Company); the struggling souls are clad are soft pink, with other soft colors (yellow, orangish brass) sprinkled in the background. All of this was hand-colored by the prolific Méliès, a French illusionist and director whose talents innovated filmmaking with his (according to Méliès’s IMDb page) “use of special effects, popularizing such techniques as substitution splices, multiple exposures, time-lapse photography, dissolves and hand-painted color”, pyrotechnics, soft focus, and storyboards. Méliès is especially famous for his 1902 film A TRIP TO THE MOON.

Great two-minute thrill, worth your time.

THEM (2006)

 

(a.k.a. ILS; directors/screenwriters: David Moreau and Xavier Palud).

Review

Plot: Creep-about sadists toy with a couple in their isolated country home.

Based on real-life Romanian murders (a couple was stalked and killed by three teenagers), THEM is a promising French thriller that goes quickly awry. The lead actors’ performances are great, even real reactions sometimes (actress Olivia Bonamy, claustrophobic in real life, crawled through narrow tunnels). The set-up pre-terror scenes are well-written, there’s palpable sense of isolation and unease throughout the film, but the all-flight-little-fight characters are dumb, even for a stalk-torture-kill film. At several points, they could’ve easily finished off a killer or two after knocking them down, but what do they do? They run. After the second time, I stopped caring about the characters, knowing how this was likely to go. More than an overlong hour later, it finally happens. . . all style, little substance, with a great, bleakly hilarious end-shot of one of the main characters.