THE ADVENT CALENDAR (2021)

 

(aka LE CALENDRIER. Shudder Original film. Director/screenwriter: Patrick Ridremont.)

 

Review

On December 3, 2020, paraplegic ex-dancer Eva Roussel (Eugénie Derouand) gets a surprise birthday visit from her close friend, Sophie (Honorine Magnier), who flew in from Germany to give her an old, pagan-Christian ornate, wooden German advent calendar she purchased from a “Munich Xmas market”. The back of the calendar reads: “Dump it and I’ll kill you.”

 

When Eva notes that it’s a “grim” statement, Sophie, shrugging, replies, “Germans are grim.” Eva opens the first date-door and eats the candy despite this and its three rules:

“Rule number 1. The calendar contains candy. If you eat one, eat them all. Or I’ll kill you.

“Rule number 2. Respect all rules until you open the last door. Or I’ll kill you.

“Rule number 3. Dump it and I’ll kill you.”

Crazy violent things happen at a rapid pace after she eats the first four candies (and continues doing so). Her father (played by an excellent Jean-François Garreud), who has Alzheimer’s and hasn’t spoken to her in some time, calls her and wishes her a happy birthday. An investor creep (Boris, played by Cyril Garnier) who aggressively hits on her has a car accident, not entirely unlike the car accident that made her a paraplegic—except he's dead in a horrible way. Other odd events, some good, follow. Many of these events are terrifying and dangerous for her and those around her, including her nurse boyfriend, William (Clément Olivieri).

This fast-paced, supernatural horror flick is an entertaining and an all-around sturdy movie, with its good acting, a strong script and ending, and an offbeat storyline. Animal lovers may cringe at one of its parts, although there’s no actual onscreen violence (or harm to the animal)—it’s all implied. This is a highly recommended French work, different than the usual Xmas terror fare.

ATTACHMENT (2022)

 

(Shudder Original/streaming film. Director/screenwriter: Gabril Bier Gislason)

 

Review

Danish actress, Maja (Josephine Park), meets Jewish academic (Leah, played by Ellie Kendrick) in a bookstore, and they quickly fall in love. When Leah, who has strange seizures, returns to her mother’s home, Maja goes with her. Chana, Leah’s mother, is a strict practitioner of Jewish black magick. Furthermore, the serious older woman doesn’t seem to like Maja, driving her to figure out the changes in Leah’s personality, her relationship with her rigid mother, and the Kabbalah-related objects hidden around Chana’s house.

If you view director Gislason’s feature debut for what it comes off as—a barely R-rated made-for-television, initially fun and romantic drama with occasional PG-13 horror moments—it might be a good viewing choice for you. If you’re one of those sensitive souls who sincerely use the phrase “elevated horror” and doesn’t get the joke (all horror work has inherent subtext, it’s not meant to be worn as a fan-badge of arrogance and/or ignorance), ATTACHMENT could easily be your vaguely, occasionally horrific check-it-out flick as well.

If you’re an Old School/traditional horror fan looking for a well-edited film that effectively, continually builds up to a satisfying, suspenseful horror-flick ending, you might want to skip it. ATTACHMENT‘s first twenty or thirty minutes are promising, relatively fast-paced, a steady-build work. Then it hits a drawn-out, glacial-paced thirty or so minutes, where Maja, initially smart, becomes so love-dumb and gormless that she strains believability. By the time all is spoon-fed, er, revealed to her, it’s a moot point—experienced horror viewers will likely have sussed out the film’s lacking-in-suspense storyline and upcoming shots early on and, like me, just wanted the movie over with already.

On paper, I see where ATTACHMENT might’ve worked as an hourlong television/streaming horror show episode. It builds like an unedited novella (one can almost see which scenes would be dramatic chapter endings), but as a feature. . . Gabril Bier Gislason, his cast and crew are clearly able to put out part of a good movie. It’s a shame that its snail-crawl middle-to-end section relies on its lead (Maja) being excessively dumb, even for someone newly in love, and scenes recycling (without building on) previously established plot points.

 

Standout actors include:

Sofie Gråbøl (THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT, 2018) as Chana, Leah’s intense, black magick-practicing mother;

David Dencik (DEPARTMENT Q: THE ABSENT ONE, 2014) as Lev, a bookstore owner and Ellie’s uncle.

 

If you don’t like gore, suspense, violence, good editing, or anything darker than weak milk chocolate in your movies, ATTACHMENT could easily be your cinematic kick for an hour and forty-five minutes. If you’re not, feel free to skip it.

PARTY HARD, DIE YOUNG (2018)

 

(Shudder Original/streaming film. Director: Dominik Hartl. Screenwriters: Robert Buschwenter and Karin Lomot.)

Storyline

Julia and her friends travel to Croatia from Germany to have the “party of their lives”─a celebration that is interrupted by a clever killer who has targeted them.

 

Review

PARTY, a Shudder Original streaming film, is a generic, sometimes entertaining Eurostylish version of I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER crossed with a rape story. (At one point, one character sarcastically namechecks KNOW.) While PARTY is visually interesting, has pretty, young people (for those who care about that), and far from the worst thriller I’ve seen, its bland, mostly suspense-less (aside from the rooftop stalk-and-slay scene) film is more of a drama with mostly one-note characters. The filmmakers clearly have the chops to deliver a visually interesting work─it’s Robert Buchschwenter and Karin Lomot’s screenplay that makes PARTY a forgettable, flashy exercise that shows off modern-day technology and attractive youth partying. The end-shot is darkly humorous, so kudos to the filmmakers for that. Worth watching, if you need something occasionally-fun-in-parts flick that you can fall asleep to midway through, without missing anything important.

PARTY is rated R for mild gore, a flash of female nudity, violence, drug use and foul language.

SPIRAL (2019)

 

(Director: Kurtis David Harder. Screenwriters: Colin Minihan and John Poliquin.)

Storyline

A homosexual couple, who’ve moved to a beautiful, small town, witness an odd party thrown by their neighbors, and wonder if they and their daughter are in danger.

 

Review

SPIRAL is solid, slow-build suspense film. For the most part, this Shudder Original movie kept me riveted with its use of open landscape shots, spooky interior shots, and Avery Kentis’s shred-your-nerves score─these elements further imbue it with a sense of isolation and unease. Throw in creepy neighbors whose behavior may not reflect their intentions, and an ending that wraps up the movie while cleverly progressing the story (with no need for a sequel), and you’ve got a small-but-worthwhile film with credibility to burn.

I like how screenwriters Colin Minihan and John Poliquin weave character-inherent themes of homophobia, racism and PTSD into the mix. Malik’s inability to reconcile a long-ago hate crime intensifies and distorts the motivations of his sometimes-dumb actions, as he investigates the town’s past and its nice-but-unsettling denizens.

SPIRAL, often predictable, runs a little long in its last quarter, briefly devolving into hazy events and images that may or may not be Malik losing his mind. I get why some of these scenes are there, but a few of the said elements just pad out the film. That said, it’s still an atmospheric, well-executed flick.