DEADTIME STORIES (1986)

 

(a.k.a. FREAKY FAIRY TALES; a.k.a. DEADTIME; director/co-screenwriter: Jeffrey Delman, who cameos as “Strangling Man” in “The Boy Who Cried Monster” segment. Co-screenwriters: J. Edward Kiernan and Charles F. Shelton.)

 

Review

Plot: This four-microtale, fairy tale-themed anthology revolves around a sleepless boy, murderous witches, a jogger stalked by a werewolf, and four psychos inhabiting the same house.

In the first story, DEADTIME’s wrap-around work (“The Boy Who Cried Monster”), a sleepless boy (“Little Brian”) won’t go to sleep, forcing his impatient Uncle Mike to tell him off-the-cuff and oft-pervy-version fairy tales. “Boy” is a solid, fun envelope-work, one that provides a not-surprising but well-executed finish for the film.

 

Uncle Mike’s first fairy tale, “Peter and the Witches,” revolves around a young slave (Peter, played by Scott Valentine), who’s torn between his duty to two witches (who seek to resurrect their dead sister) and a beautiful young woman (Miranda) they must kill to achieve that.

Like “Boy” this is a well-edited and shot microwork, with good acting (especially Anne Redfern and Phyllis Craig, in their only cinematic roles, as witches Florinda and Hanagohl).  Lisa Cain, stuntwoman for many films including WOLFEN, 1981, played “Living Magoga,” Hanagohl and Florinda’s resurrected sibling.

 

“Little Red Runninghood,” the second tale, is less focused than its preceding segments. In it, a beautiful young woman (Rachel) is accidentally given the wrong meds for her grandmother at a pharmacy, meds meant for Willie (a lycanthrope who uses them to prevent him from werewolfing out). This leads to an inevitable “Red Riding Hood” crisis for all involved.

While sometimes funny, clever, and effectively twisty, its overlong sex scenes between Rachel and her boyfriend─which flesh out DEADTIME to feature-length, but also undercut “Runninghood”’s overall humor and pacing do the rest of DEADTIME an injustice. It doesn’t ruin the movie but it’s a glaring lag in this otherwise worthwhile flick.

Matt Mitler (BASKET CASE 2, 1990) played Willie.

 

In “Goldi Lox and the Three Baers,” three fugitives from the law─two of them escapees from Saints Preserve Us Home for the Hopelessy Insane─and their driver flee to their old Amityville house and discover that a virginity-obsessed and equally murderous telepath (Goldi Lox) has taken up residence there.

“Goldi” is a ridiculously funny, fresh take on the “Three Bears” fairy tale, one that’s not quite iconic, but─like most of DEADTIME─clever, knowing, with a wink-at-the-audience, genre-true sense of humor. The dialogue, editing and over-acting are spot-on, transcending DEADTIME’s limited budget.

Melissa Leo (RED STATE, 2011) played Judith “MaMa” Baer. Kevin Hannon played Beresford “Papa” Baer. Timothy Rule (LURKERS, 1987) played Wilmont “Baby” Bear. Cathryn de Prume (TRUE BLOOD: “F**k the Pain Away,” 2013) played Goldi Lox.

Overall, DEADTIME is worth watching, provided you like 1980s cheese and humor, aren’t a fairy tale purist, are okay with “Runninghood”’s sex scenes-lag and enjoy watching non-professional actors (many of the players only have a film or three to their respective credits) and are in a silly mood. The filmmakers clearly knew how to effectively guerilla shoot, getting the most onscreen bang for their limited cash─that, at least for this viewer, impressed me. Just don’t expect it to win any awards.